You lost me
by Matthew's Muse
Summary: Gordo saw that light in her eyes again last night during the dance...but she wasn’t looking at him." OneShot


You lost me...

Lizzie McGuire was sitting up in what was probably a guest room bed, watching the alarm clock blink back the time to her. No rest was had last night. At least five people were crammed onto one of Kate's unused beds, since she hadn't had enough sleeping bags for her slumber party. Ethan was next to her, with his arm protectively around her. There was someone she didn't know on her other side, then a dent where Gordo used to be after them.

Lizzie reached over and clutched her pillow, wishing that she could just forget everything that happened today. Certainly if she thought about it any longer her poor heart would stop working completely.

Gordo was on his way over to the Starbucks on the corner of one of downtown's lesser-known streets. The morning was overcast with thin but gray clouds, and he could see that it was sprinkling in some areas of the town. Gordo could feel it when he woke up. The morning was calm and easy, just the kind of morning to sleep in and relax, but all he could think about was one Ms. Lizzie McGuire. And how nice it would be if she were with him right now.

He couldn't see it, but Gordo was sure that the sun had finally cleared the horizon. It was around 7:30, or so his instincts told him. Lizzie was probably enjoying herself in slumber, dreaming about Ethan Craft, and the way he danced with her last night at the Spring Fling Dance. The way he kissed her probably made its way into her dreams as well. And the way he led her off the dance floor with one hand placed in the small of her back.

Only Gordo knew just how unbelievably ticklish she was there. But he was sure that her laughter wasn't because of Ethan's hand.

He could only imagine what went on after Lizzie left his protective sight. Or what went on when Ethan took her to his house before Kate's slumber-after-party because he 'forgot something'.

When Gordo walked into the Starbucks, it was completely empty, just as he suspected it would be. He wasn't sure that it would even be open at this hour on a Sunday. Then again, he wasn't here for the coffee. He was here because it wasn't there, where Lizzie was, where Ethan was, or where any memories were that might be surfaced again. The slumber party had spelled nothing but disaster to Gordo.

Gordo sat down and ran his hand through his wild mane of hair. He hadn't bothered to comb it before he left Kate Saunders's house. He had intended to, because he knew just how out of hand his hair could get sometimes, but the first thing he saw after he got up was Ethan and Lizzie cuddled up close, looking as though they shared more than one romantic moment with each other last night. Possibly a couple in the morning as well. It was for this reason he did not answer when Parker, his date, asked where he was going from her place on the couch before he slunk out the door. He didn't hear her.

It started to rain in the forgotten sector of downtown. Gordo could see two or three people lift whatever they had in their hands over their heads and run off. Just like that, the streets were barren. Gordo thought it was strange that no one ran into the coffee shop. He was confused, but thankful. After a long night crowded with people, it was nice to have a cool morning with nobody but the Starbucks employee. And Gordo knew that the employee wouldn't ask him for rides to Kate Saunders's house when his mother specifically told him that only he and Lizzie were allowed in his car.

Lizzie didn't need a ride after the dance, however. Lizzie was meeting them at the after slumber party later. Later after alone time with Ethan.

Gordo would never forget when she and Ethan walked into Kate's house an hour after everyone else had arrived. Lizzie's hair was not in the same place it was last time Gordo had looked. Ethan's smile looked more triumphant than usual. But what Gordo would remember the most was the way Lizzie just breezed by him without so much as eye contact. Without an explanation as to where she was. Without regard to Gordo's aching heart.

Gordo couldn't find it in himself to have fun for the rest of the night. He found a nice corner of the loser couch, where it was guaranteed no one would talk to you, and stared at Kate's whitewashed walls. The house itself was large. He probably could have found a more secluded place to sulk. Somewhere down in him though, he wanted to show Lizzie what she had done. He was foolish to think she would even turn his way.

Gordo took another sip from his Tazo Chai. He had mindlessly ordered the tea, despite his intentions otherwise, but it felt like a tea sort of morning. Somehow coffee would bog down the light tone the rain brought to the streets. Lizzie had always thought he was weird for saying things like that. She would laugh with her eyes shining in a way that said, "That's my Gordo" before she took a drink from her own Frappuccino. Caramel. Always caramel.

Gordo saw that light in her eyes again last night during the dance. But she wasn't looking at him.

Gordo decided to get up. Brooding was not going to make things better, no matter how much his heart was hurting right now. Right now he needed to go back to Kate's. Explain to Parker why he had just walked out and offer her a ride home, like a gentleman. He would have to step over Ethan and Lizzie again to get to his jacket, but he was seriously considering forgetting about it. It wouldn't do to reverse all the healing the relaxing morning had administered to his soul; his shattered hopes.

Just as Gordo threw away his half-empty Tazo Chai, he saw someone walking down the sidewalk. Walking when it was absolutely pouring now. Gordo stepped out of the Starbucks slowly, to get a better look. He thought it was for the best that his hair got wet anyway. The employee had asked his hair what it would like to drink because he couldn't take his eyes off Gordo's bed head. Now his locks were plastered to his forehead.

In an instant Gordo knew whom it was coming down the street. How could he not? But he kept himself rooted. He wanted to see what she would do. He wanted to see if she had come here for Ethan or for him. At this point she wasn't thinking of herself. If she were, she wouldn't have associated herself with scum like Ethan.

It seemed too short a time for her to cross the distance between them, but in a matter of moments Gordo found himself facing the proclaimed bane of his existence. He had once called her that, affectionately of course. She didn't get it then, but he had a feeling that if he said it again just now, she would understand.

Gordo looked up and saw instantly that she had been crying. Through all the raindrops he could see tears floating down her blushed cheeks. It was obvious that she hadn't taken off her makeup last night. Bitterly, Gordo doubted she had time. He quickly erased those thoughts. If she was hurting, it was his job to fix it. After all, he was the best friend. He would always be the best friend. He was supposed to be there for her through thick and thin, and if this meant ignoring his own well being, then so be it.

Steeling himself, he looked into her eyes. At the same moment, Lizzie bit her lip, perhaps to stop further tears. Gordo could feel all of his defenses melt away. He grabbed for some sort of shield, but in vain. His heart was ripped open all over again at the sight of her misery.

Gordo opened his mouth to say something stupid, he was sure. "Are you okay?" or "What's up?" But he never got that far. Lizzie threw herself into him, hugging him like her very life depended on it. Gordo was expecting this least of all, so he stumbled a bit to regain balance. Gordo held her for a moment. Lizzie continued to sob into his shoulder, but the rain tapping against the roof of the Starbucks drowned out her cries.

When he started to rock her back and forth Gordo knew that he should probably resist falling in love with her all over again, since he just decided against it. Then he realized just how hopeless that was. Gordo smiled a little. Hopeless, but the good kind of hopeless.

Gordo pulled Lizzie away from him. She looked up into his eyes with a sort of desperation Gordo had never seen before. He had a few guesses as to what happened, but he would discuss them with her later. Right now he was just glad that he could provide comfort for her. He was the one she went to, not anyone else. He also thought it amusing that she knew exactly where he went. All Parker probably had to say was that he just walked out.

He noticed that Lizzie was clutching his wallet in her hand, and was wearing his jacket. Some quick calculations told him that there was nothing left at Kate's house that he needed to get. If he was right, Lizzie didn't need to go back either. But what did this mean?

"Lizze?" Gordo started, but Lizzie held a finger up to his lips.

"Wait, let me talk." She led them to a table covered by an umbrella. Gordo sat down, and he could feel the prickle of anticipation rising up through him.

"I..." Lizzie broke off, looking like she was going to start crying again. She drew in a quick breath and started over. "Ethan tried to take advantage of me." She stated simply, staring right into Gordo's eyes. The statement was simple, but her lip started to tremble. Gordo realized just how much this affected her.

"What?" Gordo leaned forward in his chair appropriately. Lizzie wiped her eyes uselessly, smearing a bit of forgotten mascara across her face.

"When he took me to his house...we started to kiss, you know, and then he wanted to take it farther..." Lizzie smiled in spite of her tears. It was a shaky smile. Gordo thought that if he just touched her she'd fall apart. "But I said no. It was so hard, but I actually said no. And he...he looked so upset. But the mad kind of upset." Gordo noted that her last comment was along the lines of his own 'tea sort of day'. He wanted to smile, but listened to her story instead. He was concerned about the mad part.

"He kept trying to get me into bed, but I kept deflecting him. After a while he just... cracked, I guess. He said that when we got back it better look like we did something, or I'd regret it. I've never seen him like that, Gordo; I don't know what was wrong with him-" Lizzie's last words were rushed as she started to cry again.

"It's okay, Lizzie." Gordo said, hoping at least that would calm her down, though he doubted not much would.

"I would have never even gone near him if I had known he was going to do that." She insisted, and Gordo could see she was asking for his forgiveness.

"Go on, Lizzie." He urged gently. She took a deep breath.

"Anyway, right before we got to the party, he told me again that if I said a word of what really happened, I'd get it. Then he mentioned you. I think he was jealous of you or something, because he told me he'd give me another bruise to match the one he-"

Gordo was out of his chair. "He hit you?"

Lizzie winced. "Um...yeah." Gordo suspected that she wasn't going to tell him about that. In thinking about it, he realized that that was probably a good plan. Right up until it failed. She lowered Gordo's jacket to show him a very bruised shoulder. It looked like he tried to grab her way too hard to physically get her into bed. The urge to decimate Ethan was rising.

"He was drunk, Gordo, so I didn't blame him too much. But after he told me I couldn't talk to you, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't panic, but I really wanted to. I finally persuaded him to let us sleep on the bed with you. I told him I'd cuddle with him and everything." Lizzie wiped her eyes again. "But the only way I felt safe was when you were in the room with me."

Lizzie looked down at the table, fresh tears filling her eyes. "You have no idea how panicked I was when I woke up and you weren't there. I thought I had lost you forever. You seemed so upset when I completely ignored you. I don't blame you." Lizzie looked up at him.

"If you don't want to talk to me anymore, it's okay, I mean, I know you probably hate me for acting like such a princess."

"Lizzie, I-"

"I know I'm not the smartest girl on the planet, and I don't make good decisions, but, Gordo, when you weren't a part of my life, there for that one minute, that was the worst feeling I have ever had. Ever. And I needed to tell you, Gordo."

Lizzie's nose was turning red, and Gordo could see the beginnings of a cold coming on; her face was the picture of helplessness. There was only one thing he knew to do in a situation like this. He got up and went over to her. He stood Lizzie up, and captured her in a crushing hug.

"Lizzie, I'm not going anywhere."

Soft music from the Starbucks floated into their moment. Gordo hadn't noticed there was anything playing at all when he walked in there the first time. He had a sneaking suspicion that the employee thought this was the perfect time to put on some John Mayer, at the obvious request of his only customer that day.

Gordo could feel Lizzie smiling into his shoulder. Her unmistakable voice spoke softer than the rain. "Let's go."


End file.
